What Started Out as a My Turn, but Ended up as a Rant

Just talk to me. Yes, that’s right, just talk. You don’t have to think about every word and syllable that comes out of your mouth, you just have to think of me as a person that is listening.

I love what I do. It’s a huge part of my life—a commitment in time, energy, and emotion, but I’m sometimes hesitant to mention what I do at parties or when meeting people for the first time. Why? I’m an English teacher. Someone who grades papers, teaches grammar and literature, and works with writing and speaking for a living.

Do I love reading? Yes! Do I love grammar? Right on. Do I expect everyone to? No. I’m okay if you end your sentences with a preposition. I’m okay if you are not perfectly grammatically correct. I said I’m an English teacher, not your English teacher.

The funny thing is, though, that I find myself doing the same things when sending emails, even personal ones, to my colleagues. Everything somehow becomes more important. Each comma, each period, goes from being incredibly miniscule, to incredibly important. Each sentence goes through multiple revisions; each word is looked up in the thesaurus. Maybe I’m exaggerating, but still, it’s a bit stressful. I know how others feel.

One time I was at a party and the question was asked. I answered truthfully, knowing full well what was to come next. A night full of painful reminiscing about middle school English teachers and education policy. And that is exactly what happened.

It goes back to communication. What are we trying to say? How are we trying to say it? I’m also a speech and debate coach, so I feel strongly about communication skills. I think that it’s essential that we as a society are able to adequately communicate our thoughts, feelings, and ideas. The only problem, though, is that sometimes the method of communication becomes so distracting that nothing actually gets said. That’s not my goal.

I'm not saying that I don't appreciate talking about literature, ideas, or the New York Times. I do. I just don't want it to be a barrier between myself and others. Some of my favorite conversations ever happened when I was an editor at Brigham Young University and got to talk with others about literature, English, and, yes, even grammar. But they were actually, genuinely, entirely interested in those topics as well. They weren't just making conversation, or cowering in fear. We were really able to talk and get to know one another.

I want people to be real and honest. If you liked Jane Eyre, then wonderful, I did too. If you hated Lord of the Flies, join the club.

I am not my job. If I were an accountant I’m sure I would hear about math. If I were a stockbroker, the floodgates would open on conversations about the economy or Walmart or Disney or some other random company great or small. Do I try to do this to others sometimes? Probably.

It’s our way of trying to make a connection to what we see as an important part of someone else’s life. The problem comes in on this point, though. I cannot so easily be boiled down to one set of values or ideas. I am not your English teacher from high school. I am not in charge of standardized testing, the National Education Association, No Child Left Behind, or what books have been put on the curriculum of my school.

So, feel free to talk to me. Really talk and I’ll feel free to really listen. If you promise to try not to judge me based my job, I’ll be sure to return the favor.


**I started writing this as an example of a My Turn essay for an assignment I'm working on with my freshman. It soon turned into an angry-ish rant. I still wanted to make use of it, so here it is.**