Beware the dark side!

So, it's official. I, the one who has always considered herself to have been somewhat optimistic, yes even I, have turned to the dark side. It took me some time to come to this conclusion. There was much thought and reflection, but the realization has come. I am turning into an over-analtyical, pessimistic female. It may have been just a matter of time, but the day has come.

Today class was kind of a catch-up day. It was a chance for the kids who missed the test before Thanksgiving to make it up and for the rest of us to get on the same page. We reviewed the test answers and passed back papers. That's it. Nothing new, all review, nothing high tech. The sad thing, however, is that I probably received more backhanded compliments today than ever. This being said, I must add that I am rather lenient in what I call a compliment. If a kid tells me that my class is hard, I thank him or her because, to me, this means that the student is actually learning and progressing. They are challenged.

Today, however, I heard compliments like, "Wow, I thought I wasn't going to be able to stay awake in class today, but I didn't have a problem at all"* and "Class was really interesting today!" This is where my pessimism comes in. Of course, I have to analyze every comment and so my thought about the latter one slowly becomes, "Today?! Just today?! Not every day?" and to the former, "Do you usually have trouble staying awake in my class? What kind of a teacher am I?"

Yes, I know. I am reading too much into this. (At least, I actually hope that I am) and yet, something inside of me can't give it up. I was never one to read into it when some well-meaning boy would say, "Wow, you look nice tonight," (although I always was a bit annoyed when they would ask, "Are you feeling sick? What's wrong?") and yet, here it is, the proof that I am turning to the dark side. Pessimism begins to reel its ugly head. I have my first true symptom--the ability to overthink comments--even compliments. Resistance is futile.** No wait! There it is again! I will not succumb! I will strive for optimism! The glass is half full!!! Wish me luck.***


*For my pride I must add that this really was a compliment as said student explained that they had fallen asleep in both English and history today.
**Yes, I'm mixing Star Trek and Star Wars, but when something is true, it is true.
***Or at least best wishes.